Guaranteed Healthcare

It began about 15 years ago. I began to feel sick a lot. Then I got mono - oh no! I was 19, began having seasonal allergies, migraine headaches and pain, everywhere. I didn't know what to do. My PCP at the time treated the symptoms and left me to my own devices.

By the time I had my first son, I had chronic pain, fatigue, insomnia, etc. Maybe the pregnancy would cure it? NO. So I turned back to medicine. My gall bladder was removed - perfectly healthy and normal was how the surgeon described it to me afterwards. I started medicines, anti-psychotics, anti-depressants, mood-stabilizers, and none worked effectively.

I saw a Rheumatologist back in 2005. She listened to me for 15 minutes, declared I had fibromyalgia and put me on Neurontin. I had limited success with that drug, and then got pregnant again. Pregnancy masked my symptoms, once again, we were hoping it would 'cure' me, but alas. After my second child was born, I suffered severe depression, chronic fatigue and pain, fibromyalgia, headaches and so much other stuff that I had to quit my job. In the meantime I applied for short term disability (before I quit) because I was unable to work. The insurance company has to check for pre-existing conditions, so for the past 6 months I have not been paid while they "look into it." I quit my full time job but had to take part time work, bills do not pay themselves. I also had to switch insurance companies.

In the midst of all of this, I was seeing a specialist in fibromyalgia - she didn't take insurance. I paid her hundreds of dollars so that she could run tests, tell me to take supplements and generally not help me, but was hopeful that in the long run, if I could just hang in there, she could help me (and help herself to my paychecks). I gave up. Thankfully my sister works as a PA and had my chart from my last PCP. She took a look through it and found some abnormal blood work from three years ago. She recommended we recheck it. Guess what, more abnormalcy. I went to a rheumatologist yesterday who wants to run more tests, take our time and figure out what it wrong.

In the meantime, I cannot work enough hours to support my family, I cannot bear the pain and fatigue, I am not being compensated through insurance, I probably won't qualify for disability (I did apply, but is major depression and chronic pain/fatigue enough?), and I feel so overwhelmed. I don't want my family to fall apart because of my unexplained illness. I also want to live my life again. Being diagnosed will only be half the battle. Until I can be treated, I feel I won't win. If being this sick is unexplainable by current medical science, perhaps doctors ought to get back to the research labs.

I jokingly mentioned that I would rather have Lupus because then at least I would have a diagnosis. I don't want Lupus, and I feel for anyone who has it. I have lost my faith in medicine and insurance companies. If I had the extra disability money from my short term disability, I could pay my bills, afford to get the non-covered experimental help I need and take care of my family. When will modern medicine catch up with these post-modern times? And, when will people realize that insurance shouldn't benefit a 'company' or a 'CEO', it should benefit the people it claims to insure.